Recently I saw this quote on Instagram which said "marriage is till death do us part, no till you get tired of trying.
Many I know for sure would disagree with this.
So I decided to share a little thought-provoking analysis of this frequently discussed issue .
So am just going to get straight to the point.
First, it is no hidden fact, the moment you decide to get "hitched", you are meant to be in it forever.
You don't go into marriage, with the thoughts of divorcing or ending it in months.
That's why you need to place "understanding" over love before you get married.
"Do you know your partner well enough?
By well enough, we don't mean General knowledge that his inner circles have access to.
In this case, I mean information that is exclusive to you, and that can only be derived by "studying and understanding" your spouse or partner not love/which is like alcohol. How can a drunk person understand something as complex as Algebra?
Marriage or understanding is more complicated that Algebra.
So, if you know that "marriage is a forever kind of partnership" , you would agree with that caption I stated earlier.
Still, some still won't agree.
And these are the people that have been married for over 20years and still plan on divorce.
The answer is simple , they are tired of each other.
This is a constant trait in human beings when we see or use something or anything too much or we see it all the time, it starts to lose value or importance in our eyes.
So the answer is not filing "irreconcilable difference", instead, try to "rediscover" your marriage/your love and you can do this, by either getting some "good time "ALONe" with each other for a month on an Island where there is no internet or Wi-Fi.
You separate for a while. And this is for the extreme cases I.e you cannot tolerate each other any longer.
But this separation has a duration, and that is 3months!
Yeah, 3 months, for both of you to "rediscover" yourselves , rediscover your love. It's 3 months of finding yourself and checking if there is still space for the " other person"
Please note : within this 3 months, please don't just have go on a random sex rampage, MILF hunting, and any other sexual escapade.
It would ruin everything and make you believe without "really understanding why you don't need your partner.
I recommend you don't stray towards that line.
Instead, go on a vacation , visit friends , families, visit tourist sites. Smile at admirers but don't indulge them.
During this time, try to analyse your relationship, what went wrong, what is missing, what should be fixed, what should be removed or stopped.
You can schedule how to spend the 3 months, but the understanding relationship must be on the "menu" although I wouldn't advise the first month.
Try this, and see if it works.
Now, lastly, for those whose relationship has hit the rocks, or have experienced someone who has( This part is for females especially).
Stop trying to feed people "pseudo-feminist. Ideas' it is wrong.
How can you say marriage is not so important?
Let me tell you something, You have grown frustrated , that's why.
Or better still, for those who have witnessed it, you are just cowards who are scared of getting into it given what you have seen, when in fact, it should give you an insight on how to handle yourself better.
Marriage is beautiful, bliss , happiness. An important fabric of human life. By marriage, I mean the union of man and woman( forget the formalities and the party).
Marriage is dedicating your life to a person and any other thing that comes out of that relationship.
Marriage like every other thing, has it "perks " but saying it is not important or defiling such a sacred term shows your level of "frustration"
*panting* was venting there.
And now to those whose marriage is on the rock and is set to hit due to "violence"
God! Who invented that word! It is ruining our world.
Violence is a no-no in marriage! Whether physical or emotional. It should never happen.
In fact. my two commandments of marriage as regards violence.
"You shall never hit your husband"
"You shall never hit your wife"
No questions asked.
For those who have an abusive marriage,
You need to follow the two recommendation above I.e understanding your relationship and the 3-months break/free pass.
If after this, it does not get better, you can leave while it's safe.
The reason I would never advocate for divorce so easily is I hate it and it has more negative impact than positive.
So follow the above and try very very hard to save your marriage.
#Divorce should never be your any 1 option.
N*B some women can be frustrating, they could push you to the edge, Be patient and don't give in. Be patient does not make you a fool, it will sooner make her realise the "wrong one"