What is trust? The answer of course depends from which side you are looking at it, trust is simply about understanding and believing without a doubt that a person can do a certain thing at a certain time without disappointing.
So back to our discussion on last week's topic, what reasons do people have before they get married and that question is very hard to answer for some people but generally people marry because of these reasons.
*.1 Love - more than 60% would agree to this, they get married because of Love. The idea of waking up to be with that person you have always wanted to be with is a sweet reason most people get married.
*.2 Religion_ for those who have their religious side in check. It’s laid down in the Holy Scriptures to go into the world and procreate
*.3 Society _ sometimes society influences the need for people to get married. Some bachelors and spinsters say the environment they live in, are all surrounded with couples who are married and because they do things together, they tend to feel miserable in there lonely life.
*4. Responsibility_ the feeling of being able to take care of someone, the art of wanting to be in care of loved ones raising a family could lead to marriage.
*5. Finance_ Some set of people tend to believe being a couple or getting married tends to control how they go about spending and also pooling of resources together by the couple would be very easy to do rather than just one person.
6. There's this funny traditional belief that marriage curbs indecency such as fornication, adultery cheating etc.. The basic thing is when you are involved in a relationship already (marriage), there won't be need to look else were for unnecessary flings.
Last week, we mentioned that most people marry for all the wrong reasons and the above is part of generally held opinion on why people get married, although the reasons are good but most of them only last on the short run.
We explained the previous time, that there are certain qualities that should be in place before you get married and of one of such qualities is “understanding”, you have to understand who you are going to be dealing with for the rest of your lives because marriage is meant to be a long life contract unlike what happens nowadays.
So after understanding, the next quality is trust, do you understand your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend enough to trust them?
For you to reach the stage of trusting, you must understand yourselves first, because how do you trust what do you don’t have an idea about?
After understanding, trust comes next.
One other reason you should consider before you get married is to understand if you have a certain level of trust in whom you are getting married to.
Trust as i said earlier in my opinion is “having belief in a person without a doubt”. Since you understand your spouse after years of dating, then you know what his/her likes or dislikes
Then you have an idea of what he/she would do in certain situations, so this helps to shield you against marriage breakers who carry rumour about.
Even if you caught him red-handed, by you trusting your spouse and given the fact that you know what he can or cannot do, although people tend to change that is a fact but with trust you can manage the situation.
For instance, a woman who caught her husband with another woman in his office with the lady sitting in a rather provocative manner right in front of him, what would you do?
As a woman who understands and trust her partner, you might just smile at the scene, although you don’t like it then leave or in fact stay.
This is where trust comes in, since you understand your spouse, then you know what he likes or doesn’t like, for instance, if he is the kind of person who does not like short, curvy ladies.
So when you see one in front of your husband, then you know who is tempting who, since you know and trust his tastes but when he gets home you can just ask him for curiosity sake.
Trust puts your mind at rest in your marriage; it removes the evil of jealousy when you see another person with your man/woman, it makes your marriage last longer although at times you might have reservations but with the combination of “understanding and trust” , you would overcome and your marriage would stand.
Trust and understanding does not make you a fool in your marriage unlike what some people would think, it makes you the better partner.
Some might ask me, what if you caught him/her in bed with someone, hmmm, that also can be solved by these two qualities.
When you catch your man/woman in bed with another person, as a human being who has blood flowing in their veins you might get angry, that is acceptable but getting angry in a violent way does not solve anything (trust me) but you can avoid or distance yourself from him or her for a while but not for very long, then find out what the problem was, discuss it and find a solution to prevent the re-occurrence.
If you are temperamental, this advice might not work for you if you continue to act violently like breaking things, making hasty decision etc, you might just ruin your marriage and continue move from one marriage to another because know this for a fact, every man is a born Casanova, the female form naturally appeals to the man, so if you understand and manage the situation, then your marriage would last.
You can let the steam out, by shouting but do not! Do not! Act violently! Shout if you must but then don’t overdo it.
Marriage is a beautiful thing but be careful before you go into it.
Divorce is an evil! That doesn’t ruin the people who do it but the product/children of those who do it.