What led me to writing this particular piece was a conversation i had with a lady friend of mine some weeks ago.
I don’t really know what got us talking about this subject but i knew we just delved into it and we talked for a while about it.
I think it was an issue about me dating a doctor? And she was like, cool but why?
I told her, doctors have attitude that match my persona,
Then that’s how we began the discussion, i told her that female doctors have this cool and calm personality and as a result they could manage any sort of person they date given their profession, my opinion though.
Nowadays, marriage has become something that is fashionable, people marry because that is the trend, they marry because of the glamour, and some marry actually because of the pressure from a group of married friends but they never ask themselves the question ,Why do I need to get married?.. A lot of folks could find it difficult to answer this question, if they were to be given 10seconds, they might come up saying they don't know and end up saying because the love there partner: I ask myself why do I need to get married; is it because of the fact that it’s normal that when I grow up I must get married? Or the fact that religiously it’s what that is laid down for us to do as the right thing. I'm sure some people would also agree with me that people get married just because of the SEX, the sex might probably blind them and think they should spend the rest of their lives with that man/woman who gives them that sexual healing. In my opinion nowadays marry for all the wrong reasons, even love is a wrong reason to marry.
When you marry for strictly love, trust me it doesn’t last for more than two years of the marriage, am not saying “to love” is not a good thing but it’s just part of the whole not the core. Yeah, when you marry strictly for love, there is this feeling of accomplishment that comes to your mind in the early months of your marriage, the feeling of having marrying the love of your life but this feeling sadly does not last long at all beyond the early years of marriage because marriage is quite different from when you and your spouse lived away from each other, it is a different ball game entirely from your dating days,
Marriage as you know entails you living with each other for the rest of your lives and as a result it exposes the other side and inner core of the person you married, the question is do know that other side? Can you handle it?
Love just makes part of the core that makes a marriage last longer. Like i said earlier about the conversation with my lady friend, about me dating and probably marrying a doctor , i said so because i understand doctors and understand myself and what works with me and what i can handle. Although you might ask, what about the inner part? This brings me to the one of the qualities that forms the core of a marriage and that is ;
Understanding You have to understand yourself and the personality of the person you are about to enter a sacred union with, because if you don’t understand a thing, then blindly go into it, you might find yourself feeling very frustrated in the end. So this applies to marriages, you have to understand who you are going to be dealing with for the rest of your life , because seriously divorce is a bad thing and that’s why dating for years is advisable but for some girls it’s like punishment, they just want to get married because all their friends are getting married, peer pressure! Hence some of them leave the guy who they have been dating for 2years to marry another guy who is ready for marriage who they met within 2months. Nowadays, there have been all sorts of shocking news about breakups and divorce, Some of this marriages lack understanding, because a scenario of a case of a woman who hears the rumour that her husband was seen with another woman on several occasions and just because of that and because of what she put together, she called it quit. If she understood, she would find out if it’s true and if it turns out to be true , she would find out why? Sometimes you just have to overlook certain things and understand that if you believe something or somebody is for you, then it’s for you except you start to have second thoughts. A understanding woman or an understanding husband is better than a loving spouse ten times over, because love comes with irrationality at times. You tend to over react when you find out your love is being shared but if you loved and understood, you won’t develop unnecessary migraine.
The next one is trust; do you understand your spouse enough to trust them?